Words

She looked me in the eyes and said

Do you love me?
Do you want us to date?
Can you die for me?
Can you give me whenever I ask?
Please answer me

I just stood there and words refused to come out of my mouth.

Banji Coker

Mephobia

The fear of trying
The fear of crying
The fear of rejection
The fear of failure
The fear of success
The fear of greatness
The fear of beauty
The fear of me

This is mephobia

Banji Coker

Lonely

People
Party
Laughing
Dancing
Smiling
Lonely

BANJI COKER

The war

A war is about to break out
A battle is about to begin
A fight is about to start
Both teams have drawn the line

My brain says I should move on
My heart wants her back
With her is where my heart belongs
My brain total hates my heart

My brain calls my heart dumb
My heart says she is the one
My brain says face reality
My heart says believe in love

This war is for my mind
Will I stay with her or leave her behind
This is a tough decision
I just wish my brain and my heart will agree on this one

Banji Coker

Song of the week

The song of the week for me is taylor swift safe and sound, it's a great song trust me but why it's my song of the week it's not because of the delivery of the song, the wonderful harmony or the fact that it's taylor swift.

From my post you could figure that I have been having a crappy week, so my friends came around to give me support, one of my best friend sang that song to me and I closed my eyes on her lap and drifted to sleep, the song is just magical and like it was said in the song I forgot my problems and was "finally safe and sound

The horrible months

Okay here goes, the purpose of me starting this blog was to create a place where I can vent, so that's what I am going to do, I am not going to try to suger coat it I am not trying to put it into some kind of poem, so I'm just gonna come straight out and vent.

So here goes, the past two months have been horrible, the total worst, horrible things have been happening to me back to back, the universe isn't giving me a break. I feel jinxed.
First of, I saw my results and it was bad, my phone got spoilt followed by my laptop. Then me and my girlfriend started having communication problem and that was the most hurtful and biggest problem.

The problem was that I was constantly obsessed and bent on hearing how she feels about me, her telling me she loves me,  and I don't know why I felt that way. Maybe I just needed to feel loved that something in my life was going alright, someone would go through the trouble with me and let me know it was okay. But then again we were not communicating the way I really need for my emotional stability.

I kept  pestering her to tell me how she feels,  she wasn't even sure how she felt. So we broke up, I was pressuring her and she was scared . Long story short we chickened out and it really hurts
I feel like I just messed up the thing I wanted the most

What I want

I want her to want me
I want her to hold me
I want her to touch me
I want her to love me
I want her to be with me
I want her to talk to me
I want her to eat with me
I want her to walk with me
I want her to laugh with me
I want her to cry with me
But I don't always get what I want

Banji coker

In a room

In a room full of people
In a room with mouths moving
In a room with voices echoing
In a room oozing out noises
In a room crowded with opinions
In a room where everyone is trying to be heard
In the room where people are trying to get out their opinion
There is no communication.

Banji Coker

the sign

As I walked down the road
I began to recall all the things that went wrong with my life
The failed relationships, the messed up career and the empty bank account
I was the guy with no friends, the loner
I decided to talk to the universe
To question the decider of faith.
Why was my life in such a mess?
Telling him I needed a break
Telling him I was really trying hard to see the silver lining
Begging him to give me a sign that everything was going to be okay
Just then the sky began to pour down rain
every drop of rain sank into my hair and ran through my scalp
I forgot about all my problems
And began to think about a funny TV series
As ran from the beating of the rain
But still my problem didn’t go away
But at that moment I wasn’t worrying about them anymore.
Could this be the sign?

Banji Coker

poetry

I write out my pain
I rhyme out my fears
I put my sadness between syllables
I put my depression within bars
These words are my feelings
These writings are my thoughts
These phrases are my beliefs
My poetry is me in words

Banji Coker

The tear

His veins came popping out
Tears ran down from his eyes
He is trying to hang on to life
Hoping to make his mother  proud

He carries this burden alone
He feels the weakening of his bones
His heart can't take this anymore
His problems he hopes to solve

But then he cracked a smile
Something funny caught his eyes
About his problems he didn't seem to care
Just then he wiped his tear

Banji Coker

i remained sient

They shouted my name
I remained silent
They called me names
I remained silent
They say I am stupid
I remained silent
They say I am foolish
I remained silent
They are saying a lot of demining things about me
I remained silent
They are laughing at me
I remained silent
Why am I silent?
Because words don’t stick
Because they know nothing about me
Because I understand what’s happening
What’s happening here is projection
I am a walking embodiment of their biggest fears

I exhibit their insecurities
I life out their fears
I express my emotions
I show my vulnerability
And they can’t understand how I can live like this
Why am I silent?
Because there is no point to say anything
Because Nobody’s opinion matters when it comes to my life except me

Banji Coker

what is it?

Is it a game?
Does it matter who wins or who loses?
Is it something you use to tell a good story?
Is it comic relief?
Is something you laugh at with your friends?
Is it a ticket to societal acceptance?
Is it something to brag about?
What is it?
What is its essence?
What’s are the reasons?
What’s the point?
Of building relationships?
Trying to sugar coat our sexual tensions all in the name of love
Why do we have friends?
Why do we socialise?
Why do we fall in love?

Banji Coker

what i need

I need to do this more often
I need to be around people I love
I need to be around people that love me
I need to be around people who are proud of me
I need to be around people who are not ashamed of me
I need to be around people that appreciate me
I need to be around people who know my worth
Last but not least, I need to around the one that wants me

Banji Coker

who am i?

I am the guy whose career seems to be going nowhere
I am the guy with this complicated and messy love life
I am the guy whose social life is a joke
I am the guy who is religiously nowhere.
Really, what am I?
I am a dreamer
I am a rookie
I am a believer
I am an artist

Banji Coker

oblivion

I fell into oblivion
I began to walk in the corridor of darkness
I saw the light at the very end
Just as I was about to run towards the light
I began to hear voices
They all sounded sorrowful
They are saying “please open your eyes”
“please don’t leave me”
“please come back to us”
I was filled with confusion
First of all, my eyes were open
I couldn’t see the people talking
Where am I going back to?
Should I walk towards the light?
And see all the beauties it has to offer
Or should I walk back into the darkness
And save those people out of their misery

Banji Coker

her eyes

Her eyes make me look small
I feel distant every time we are together
Sometimes I doubt my own existence
I never feel important in her presence

I know I’m stupid
I know I’m foolish
I know I don’t think
Whenever it comes to you

hope one day you will notice me
hope one day you will get to know me
hope one day you will respect me
because sometime no matter how strong a love is, it can fade

Banji Coker

good or bad

What is bad? What is good? what makes you a bad or good person? I just finished watching Narcos, the story about Pablo Escobar, his drug cartel and their fight with the DEA, the Columbian government and the American government. 

Now the odd fact is that the fight between Pablo Escobar with his drug cartel and the DEA, the Columbian and American government caused a lot of fatalities, a lot of innocent helpless people who had nothing to do with the fight became the causalities of the fight. The poor citizens of Columbia who were all going about their daily lives were victims of bombings, Shoot outs and kidnappings. Now with all this blood shed none of the fighting party accepted that they were wrong they all blamed the other party as the cause of all these bombings.

Now the question is why did Escobar think he was right and that the DEA, the American and Columbian government were wrong? Or why did the DEA, the American and the Columbian government think they were right and Escobar was wrong.

The thing is everyone based their judgement of right or wrong, good or bad on their beliefs, you are right bad on their beliefs, people never think that they are bad at the most and this is the smart ones they say there are good people with bad choices. But the deal is whatever your belief or convictions is I don’t think it’s right to make other people suffer for it. But then again what makes me think I’m right.

fault in our stars

  This is a love story of a Gemini and a Taurus

 I love you

You love me
But no matter how we try we never seem to be working
It wasn’t my fault
It wasn’t your fault
You wanted to be free
I wanted you beside me
We have no one to blame but our stars

Banji Coker

song of the week

the song of the week is demi lovato old ways, i jus love demi lovato and her voice on this track was just magical.in the song she was basically talking about how she wanted to be her self again and not trying to please anyone, you should just listen to it to get my point

letter from the grave

Her eye balls moved from side to side
hey moved at a rhythmic pace
All of a sudden they stop
Her eyes start being filled with water
Her pupil dilates
They remain still on the phrase “I love you”
But this is a saddening realisation
Cos the letter is from the grave.

Banji Coker

the trees

As I strolled down the road
I could hear the trees clapping
They are surprised that I’m on my feet
The leaves whisper to each other
Some say “I can’t believe he can be this strong”
Others say “but he looks like a weakling”
Where did he get this kind of strength?
This has nothing to do with his physic
This kind of strength can only come from within

Banji Coker

stand still

Suddenly the world stood at a stand still
I could hear the wind clearly
It speaks words of sympathy
Just then the ground decided to give me a kiss
The grasses turned my body into their canvas
The message rushes through my spine to my brain
I get on my feet and stagger into reality
I discover my feet are not as strong as they use to
I try to walk and begin to limp
My nerves echoed with pain
I try to smile and laugh it off
But I sat down and wait for the pain to wear off
Instead it grew stronger
I grew weaker, the sky grew greyer, the light grew dimmer
So I decided to get up and walk
And limp all the way to that spot

 Banji Coker

that moment

 

 

 There comes that moment when you meet that person and all your fairy tales come to life, you feel like the two of you are going to make this epic love story something that beats titanic something better than Romeo and Juliet. But the sad news is they are not always on the same page with you and if you are unlucky they will lead you on and torture you with their presence making you feel like a failure that you can’t get what you want, that fairy tale you have always dreamed of, then you discover that all the movies you watched and the stories you were told were all a lie , nothing is good about the human race, we never learn any valuable life lessons, and love exist but it necessary not a good thing it can be used as a weapon of destruction. 

food

Just take a bite

Take it in swallow it
And raise your head up with a smile

 Food is used to quench hunger

Food is used for nutrition
Food is also a good companion for depression

 Its gives strength

It sulks up all the inbuilt aggression
And again it’s a snack to go to while you watch your life crashing down

 So eat while you are hungry

Eat while you are in pain
Eat while you are heartbroken
So you can have the strength to be happy and fall in love again

 

Banji Coker

new song alert

this song just came out and I've practically almost finished my data playing and playing it over again on YouTube. its Simi and Praiz on one song, how wicked is that? first off I love Simi, I love her voice, there is something about her voice that is just so calming, its like ice cream. then we have praiz who waits so time in showing of his amazing voice (praiz we get it you can sing).
enough talk you guys should go and listen to it.

live to fight

Breathe in, breathe out

Take it in slowly

Move one leg at a time

There is no need to rush

Come on, you are doing fine
That’s it, you are doing great

I admire the strength

I admire the determination

 

But you have to give in now

Just a little puff

That’s right swallow it

Hold your breath, don’t allow it escape

 

You have to live to fight another day  

Banji Coker

my daddy said

My daddy said never let a girl know how much you love her

My daddy said never fight for a girl

My daddy said never cry because of a girl
My daddy said if possible never fall in love with a girl

But I was stubborn and decided to follow my heart

Things can’t be that bad?
You came to prove my dad right
You came to prove me wrong

 Banji Coker

song of the week

the song of this week is The Script's the end where I begin from their 2008 album The script.
what I love about this song? its the sincerity of the song, the honesty and the portrayed vulnerability, the fact where they I tell whoever is trying to bring them down that they have already hit rock bottom and the only way to go is up.
one of the bars that keeps ringing in my head is the part where they said "try to break my heart, well its broke, tried  to hang me high well I'm choked, wanted to rain on me well I'm soaked, its the end where I begin" and "Now I'm alive, and my ghosts are gone, I've shed all the pain, I've been holding on ,The cure for a heart ,Is to move along, is to move along, So move along, What don't kill a heart
Only makes it strong "

this song is really inspiring, its something to listen to when you going through a rough time

confused

Anger and range

Words said, words regretted

drifted to sleep

woke up by the feeling

 listened to the music

then my heart decided to speak
its saying I should try to see things from your angle
now I feel insensitive

 I love you

You love me
I was angry

I’m sorry

 But she still not sure, she wants to be with me

Banji Coker

never enough

Words were never enough

he was never good enough
he could never do enough

Love was never enough

Nothing is never enough
He doesn’t know what to do

To convince her

That his love should be enough for her

 

But then again that is never enough

 

Banji Coker

she said

she said don't trust me
but I'm too trusting
she says she is bad for me
but her perfection is all I see

I love her flaws
its cute she is insecure
she smiles at my naivety
she says banji you  know nothing

she says don't trust me
this is a fair warning
but girl I love you
I cant help it , I'm sorry

ps. I love the fact that I cant




Banji Coker

my developmental psychology assignment (lev vygotsky)

The social development of Lev Vygotsky states that social interaction precedes development. Lev Vygotsky stressed in his theories that social interaction set the foundation for cognitive development.

Lev Vygotsky believed that humans are born with basic abilities for cognitive development, these abilities are

·         Attention

·         Sensation

·         Perception

·         Memory

Later on after interaction this basic abilities develops into complex mental process, Lev Vygotsky talked about the intellectual tools like memory mnemonics and memory maps which allow children to use basic mental functions more effectively and this is determined by culture.

Social influences on cognitive development

Lev Vygotsky believed that even cognitive task that are performed alone is influenced by beliefs, values and intellectual tools provided by the cultural background that the individual is exposed to. Lev Vygotsky said that important learning by a child is as a result of social interaction with a skilful tutor, this could occur through verbal instruction or actions of the tutor then internalised the information using it to guide or regulate their performance.

More Knowledgeable Other(MKO)

The term More Knowledgeable Other(MKO) refers to the person that has more knowledge about a particular topic, aspect or concept than the learner. The MKO doesn’t necessarily be an older person, it just has to be a person with more knowledge than the learner.

Zone of Proximal Development

Zone of proximal development is another concept of Lev Vygotsky, it deals with the difference between what a child can achieve independently and what he can achieve with some guidance. Lev Vygotsky believed that the zone of proximal development is where sensitive instruction should be given.

 Lev Vygotsky believed that interaction with peers is an effective way of developing skills and strategies, Lev Vygotsky believed that language develops from social interactions and communication purpose.

Vygotsky viewed language as a man’s greatest tool, a means for communicating with the outside world. Lev Vygotsky believed that language plays two important roles in cognitive development.

·         It is the main means by which adults transmit information to children.

·         Language itself becomes a very powerful tool of intellectual adaptation.

Lev Vygotsky said there are three forms of language

·         Social speech which is external communication used to talk to others, this happens from 2yrs old

·         Private speech, which is directed to the self and serves an intellectual function, this is from 3yrs old

·         and finally private speech goes underground, diminishing in audibility as it takes on a self-regulating function and is transformed into silent inner speech this occurs from age 7

he is lost

He had his whole life mapped out

he drew out the plan

he was determined

he was confident

he poured his heart out

he had his head in the game

he was ready for the next step

he could feel it in the air

 

just then, confusion sets in

he doesn’t know what he is doing

 nothing seems to be working

he has run out of ideas

what is it I’m doing wrong?

What I’m I missing?

What can’t I see?

Those are questions he asked himself

 

The future doesn’t look bright anymore

Is he wasting is time?

He can’t give up?

He is lost.

 

        Banji Coker