Dreams

 

        

          For some of us this is all we have, this is what keeps us going in the world, this is our sign of hope, that there is something better, there is more to us that meets the eye, a lot more we can achieve , there is a difference we can make, and one day have our names in the hall of fame.
          Here comes reality, this dreams are so close but yet so far (very far) . when you listen to people that have done things we want to do, they never give us a comprehension explanation on how the made it . every move seems like the one that is gonna change everything, the bridge that links nothing to something. but after the move is made we discover there is a lot of moves to be made to get to our dreamland
         although its frustrating we still keep dreaming, cos like I said it is all we got and we are not gonna stop till everyone of our dreams come true.

she loves me or she loves me not

                      This feeling sucks!!!!! like for real it does , come on!! i already expressed how i feel about you and you cant even give me an answer not even a no!!!!, then you say yes, no , maybe . leaving me stuck, not sure if i should move on with my life or should still keep my hopes up on you.
                       This is prison , this is torture( come on) , you say you are confused you are not sure of what you are feeling but do you wonder how i feel, you just told me you am an option but you are still looking for other choices when i told you all i want is you.
                        love is not complicated i just dont know why people make it so!!!!!!!!

Hatred

                  Hatred is a deep and emotional extreme dislike. It can be directed against individuals, groups, entities, objects, behaviours, or ideas. Hatred is often associated with feelings of anger, disgust and a disposition towards hostility.
                  This feeling is pretty intense it can take over your soul, it can make you do things you wont do normally, it can practically change who you are ,you can lose yourself just because of a person or anything in general. what people don't know is that hate takes a huge part of your life, you end up not living for you but you are living for that person you hate . after you get revenge or see whatever you want to happen to that person you hate you end up not having anything to live for.
                  hate just brings out the demons in you, you might have a reason to hate but you should have a reason to live for yourself. like a wise person once said forgiveness is for you not for the other person.

Death

                    Death is the termination of all biological functions that sustain a living organism.......
I still can understand how someone can be here one second and not be here again . its just crazy, no one can really understand how it works and according to a great psychologist Sigmund freud the greatest desire of a man is to die
                    My question is after death what next . I know there are a lot of theories about this . but still people that say this things are not dead , so I guess we can never know, now here comes the question if I die will I just stop existing not experiencing anything? or if there is heaven what will I be doing in heaven for all eternity? (eternity is a very long time). or  will I just be burning in hell for all eternity or will I adapt to the harsh conditions?. or will I just be a ghost wondering around the earth?, or is reincarnation real?.
                   like a wise man once said I will live life like there is a God and find out there is none than live like there is no God and find out there is one . all am trying to say is we should make every second count because death doesn't knock before entering.

terrorism

                       This is actually getting scary ,first Nigeria (which we haven't solved yet) then France , Mali, Israel and so on I literally cant count . it sucks because I was just probably thinking about the future which I might not get to see because of this animals
                     I don't understand how someone would wake up one morning and abandon their lives and family to go and kill innocent people all in the name of whatever they believe in. I just cant imagine the joy in killing someone like you, they all just bunch of narcissistic people who think they have the power to dictates peoples lives and if you don't agree you die.
                    when Osama binladin  died I thought terrorism was over then we heard of boko haram which is just at our backyard then isis and the list goes on and on and this leaves me with one question what the fuck is wrong with the world that people are bent of killing the innocent all in the name of a God which is meant to be good and be the source of our happiness.

what does the future hold

                   Am sitting here wondering what will become of me in the next 5- 10years, will I be famous, rich, happy or maybe I will be poor, sad , jobless (considering the situation of the country), most of all will I be lonely. this thought haunts me every night.
                 I try to be at least above average in all the things I do, I don't just do one thing. am in the university(unilag to be exact) , I started this blog and am also into music , I know what you may be thinking jack of all trades master of none but that's not it, its about having a plan B, if one doesn't work out. and again what do I have to loose. just making sure I have my economic and social security intact
                some of my friends call me paranoid that I worry too much am not living life, but I don't want to have a wife and a kid and wont be able to give them the best in life , I should be able to fulfil my responsibilities as a citizen a husband and most importantly a father .but am just 18 years old, do you think am crazy or paranoid???

karma is a bitch

                        you think you are on top of the world because a few thing seem to be working out for you , you think you can make other people's life miserable, you don't have a leach, nobody can control you or advice you .
                        you think you are the man right . they have to beg and lick the ground before you can listen to them , you are their king and they are your fucking slaves . its actually a shame because you start turning friends into foes , turn love into hate ,  everybody thinks you are not worth their love and time . even some of the people that use to be your friends might plan your own downfall. you end up with nobody that cares about you, everyone that is around you are there because of what they can get from you.
                       things starts to fall apart, then you realise there is no one to call for help(oh my God where did everybody go, you pushed them all away STUPID) . you are miserable, lonely and depressed , then you try to whip up sympathy from people around and try to make those who left you look bad (really nigga). all of a sudden you discover that there is a God somewhere and ask him where you went wrong(come on!!!!!!). the annoying part of all this is that you refuse to accept that you where mean and bad to those that where once by your side.

this thing called love

                        this shit can be scary, you cant understand why this person all of a sudden means everything to you,  they are very important to you. then your defence mechanism sets in cos you don't want to feel vulnerable and you scared that this one person has all access to your heart and can do whatever they want with it
                          the next stage, you try to deny all the signs that you are in love, you lie to your self, you lie to your friends . when you see its not working you try to convince yourself its just infatuation. then you try to change the topic trying to focus on other aspect of your life other than her, that still doesn't work she always finds a way to creep into your mind
                           now after the fighting and torture with your feeling, you finally agree you are in love with this girl, you start thinking about your lives together , then what your friends will think about it , now it dawns on you what if she doesn't feel the same (damn)....... after all the trouble.

friends to lovers

                         there is this girl you have your eyes on, she is different from the other girls with her its never about the physical attraction. then you try not to mess it up, you are there for her , she confides in you , you care for her and its obvious she cares for you too. but then you end up in the friend zone... lol
                      still you don't care you are in the friend zone (at first) you just love the fact that you are in her life . you guys get so close you are inseparable . then the thought comes into your head , it would be better if we are more than just friends . you walk up to her and told her how you feel, she said no that she does not want to ruin the relationship you both have(ouch). and cos your feelings are intense you stay friend hoping her mind would change
                     after days and months of waiting and hoping and sometimes trying to get over her she comes and tell you she loves you and your heart skips a beat at that very moment the world stops and everything makes sense and is perfect. everything you wanted is finally here . now the question is what next, you both afraid of the new adventure. the thing is you should take it slow and enjoy every step of the way

lecturers are the new bully

                 
                      okay, just because they teach us means they can make our lives miserable, in their mind they  have the power to make or destroy us. yeah  they mark our assignments, tests and exams , they say things like what you see on your script is your score so don't ask questions and if you have the balls to question them and you end up wrong (you are a fool )  your score ends up deducted..... we are trapped
                    why am on this topic is because a lecturer in my school decided to call the whole class to school (we are on holidays) because he thinks he cant find some peoples test score and he cant go through the trouble of finding out who this people are(nigga that's your job). if your name is not part of those missing scripts you gonna waste time and money, he does not care how far your house is all he knows is that he wants the whole class by 10-12am on Monday.
                       its just sad how people will use the little power they have to supress those under them, and those under them will transfer their anger on those under them and the circles goes on and on, then we all go to church, pray to God and pretend like we are good people when all we do is to make other peoples lives miserable. we are not different from the devil.

infatuation

                             Okay there is that person that's always on your mind , you think they take your breath away, you basically think the person is perfect or you think they are just right for you. you try to fight it but you cant stop the feeling, then you think you are in love . well am sorry to burst your bubble you are just infatuated
                            what really happens is that you  just really want to fall in love, scared to be alone , maybe be like your friends who seem to be happy dating or better still the movies you watch really fucked you up anyways this feeling is actually short lived. infatuation is crazy cos you kinda wrap your world around this one person., don't get me wrong you are not needy or anything , you just love the rush and the excitement the feeling brings.
                            infatuation magnifies the other person in your eyes,you are inpatient when it comes to them, once you start seeing their fault you tend to withdraw, you get overly jealous and its all about the sex. so if you discover you are infatuated don't take it to serious and just enjoy the ride. cos the feeling is gonna wear  out.

home sweet hell (parents dont get)

 
             Have you ever heard the phrase from your parent when I was your age , I didn't give my parents this much trouble,  cant you get an A , must you always play all the time, why cant you read your book, its not time for you to have a relationship etc....... if you have heard this words from your parents you are not the only one
               parents don't get that there are many factors that make us who we are. we have to struggle with our personality formation trying not to be an outcaste, we vary from one another, we have different abilities, our life is not a competition, I cant be like my friend and I cant be like you I have to be me, and am sick of us been pressured so they can show off to their friends , the most painful part of all is them coming home to transfer the pressure and pain from work on us , but I get that's the price we have to pay for food in our bellies, cloths on our bodies and a roof over our head
                  Am not saying you should let us have everything we want and not correct us when we are wrong but lets be civil about this cos home is not home anymore for us its just a place where we are told we are wrong  , a palce where we are never good enough. and if that's not the message you are trying to pass across to us , am sorry but that the message we get.. and p.s.  we have feelings too we are not computers that does what you tell it to do without questions

Bored...... what do i do next

 

       Now school is over no more exams, no more tests, no more assignments, no more lectures. i'm actually meant to be happy right? bombshell am not cos here comes the question what do I do really!!! what do I do.
          At school  I  was happy to rush home to get away from the stress of school, but I have been home for a week and it looks like a month and I have till January before resumption, nobody to talk to , days are longer more and more wanking  I have  almost drained myself out . all i'm trying to say is I miss school, the stress and all the assignments I miss everything
           that's actually the irony on life , I resume school and I start missing the peace and quiet of home .the thing is there is time for everything and seasons all we have to do is try to adjust and make good use of the time we have , enjoy every minute and second of it. with that being said I STILL DONT KNOW WHAT I WILL DO TILL JANUARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!