Words

She looked me in the eyes and said

Do you love me?
Do you want us to date?
Can you die for me?
Can you give me whenever I ask?
Please answer me

I just stood there and words refused to come out of my mouth.

Banji Coker

Mephobia

The fear of trying
The fear of crying
The fear of rejection
The fear of failure
The fear of success
The fear of greatness
The fear of beauty
The fear of me

This is mephobia

Banji Coker

Lonely

People
Party
Laughing
Dancing
Smiling
Lonely

BANJI COKER

The war

A war is about to break out
A battle is about to begin
A fight is about to start
Both teams have drawn the line

My brain says I should move on
My heart wants her back
With her is where my heart belongs
My brain total hates my heart

My brain calls my heart dumb
My heart says she is the one
My brain says face reality
My heart says believe in love

This war is for my mind
Will I stay with her or leave her behind
This is a tough decision
I just wish my brain and my heart will agree on this one

Banji Coker

Song of the week

The song of the week for me is taylor swift safe and sound, it's a great song trust me but why it's my song of the week it's not because of the delivery of the song, the wonderful harmony or the fact that it's taylor swift.

From my post you could figure that I have been having a crappy week, so my friends came around to give me support, one of my best friend sang that song to me and I closed my eyes on her lap and drifted to sleep, the song is just magical and like it was said in the song I forgot my problems and was "finally safe and sound

The horrible months

Okay here goes, the purpose of me starting this blog was to create a place where I can vent, so that's what I am going to do, I am not going to try to suger coat it I am not trying to put it into some kind of poem, so I'm just gonna come straight out and vent.

So here goes, the past two months have been horrible, the total worst, horrible things have been happening to me back to back, the universe isn't giving me a break. I feel jinxed.
First of, I saw my results and it was bad, my phone got spoilt followed by my laptop. Then me and my girlfriend started having communication problem and that was the most hurtful and biggest problem.

The problem was that I was constantly obsessed and bent on hearing how she feels about me, her telling me she loves me,  and I don't know why I felt that way. Maybe I just needed to feel loved that something in my life was going alright, someone would go through the trouble with me and let me know it was okay. But then again we were not communicating the way I really need for my emotional stability.

I kept  pestering her to tell me how she feels,  she wasn't even sure how she felt. So we broke up, I was pressuring her and she was scared . Long story short we chickened out and it really hurts
I feel like I just messed up the thing I wanted the most

What I want

I want her to want me
I want her to hold me
I want her to touch me
I want her to love me
I want her to be with me
I want her to talk to me
I want her to eat with me
I want her to walk with me
I want her to laugh with me
I want her to cry with me
But I don't always get what I want

Banji coker